Corrupt a Wish

[Michael]

I wish Michael would make his five-alarm chili for the RRFan.com meet

Granted?






I wish my taste buds weren't completely dulled

[AARR]

I wish my taste buds weren't completely dulled

Granted, but now you can taste what your Mother In Law has been trying to poison you with.


I wish to end poverty

[Michael]

I wish to end poverty

Granted. But all you do is redefine what the word poverty means.



I wish I had a reliable jogging partner

[AARR]

I wish I had a reliable jogging partner

Granted, the paramedics.


I wish young runners would stop passing me when I am jogging

[Michael]

I wish young runners would stop passing me when I am jogging

Granted. But now the old, 104 year old runners start passing you




I wish doing an Internet search for "old man running" did not result in photos of me running

[AARR]

I wish young runners would stop passing me when I am jogging
Granted. But now the old, 104 year old runners start passing you

I wish doing an Internet search for "old man running" did not result in photos of me running

Granted, instead it shows pictures of you crying when you stepped on a lego


I wish more animals would come into my yard

[Michael]

I wish more animals would come into my yard

Granted. But you are overrun with rats




I wish to know why AARR is up at 1AM

[AARR]

I wish to know why AARR is up at 1AM

Granted,


I wish to never go to a party again

[Michael]

I wish to never go to a party again

Granted. But then Michael pulls up in a limo and ......


You just can't resist




I wish all the raildads a happy father's day

[AARR]

I wish all the raildads a happy father's day

Granted, but even on Father's Day there is still a little Mother's Day.


I wish for $100 million in clean bills that cannot be traced back to me and are not linked to any crime

[Michael]

I wish for $100 million in clean bills that cannot be traced back to me and are not linked to any crime

Granted. But you run into trouble when you try and spend it




I wish for 100 degree weather

[AARR]

I wish for 100 degree weather

Granted, and we thank you with refreshing water.


I wish for low humidity

[Michael]

I wish for low humidity

Granted. But you are instantly transported to the Sahara Desert




I wish to watch AARR on The View

[AARR]

I wish to watch AARR on The View

Granted, but I am pummeled to a pulp.


I wish to be interviewed by a more favorable group of ladies who won't beat me up

[Michael]

I wish to be interviewed by a more favorable group of ladies who won't beat me up

Granted. But now it is 4 old ladies spending the interview hitting on you in a different way




I wish to have an Intervention with AARR about his drinking

[AARR]

I wish to have an Intervention with AARR about his drinking

Granted, but it's not drinking I need the intervention for.

I am not ashamed.

I wish for another Godzilla movie

[Michael]

I wish for another Godzilla movie

Granted. But it is a spin off about his son Godzuki. This is all Hollywood has left




I wish to challenge AARR to a pizza eating contest

[AARR]

I wish to challenge AARR to a pizza eating contest

Granted, but our wives are disgusted with us.

And we did not enjoy cramming delicious pizza in our mouths and down our throats either.

I wish to enjoy a day of railfanning with Michael in Durand where we can enjoy at our leisure a delicious pizza, and ice cold coke and chocolate chip kookies.

[Michael]

I wish to enjoy a day of railfanning with Michael in Durand where we can enjoy at our leisure a delicious pizza, and ice cold coke and chocolate chip kookies.

Granted. You are right. No sense stuffing ourselves mindlessly. We enjoy pizza and tren at our leisure.

But Michael leaves you with the check



I wish to avoid the noid

[AARR]

I wish to avoid the noid

Granted, instead you become a pizza mascot.


I wish ~Z~ comes with us so we can stick him with the check